i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
