ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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