Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
my sisters under your porch take her home
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
