Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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