my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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