Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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