you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize