We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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