in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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