She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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