I just made out with a guy for $7.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
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And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
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You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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