i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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