Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Randomize
