R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
