Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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