I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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