I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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