she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
