There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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