Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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