you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
it's like iHOP with fire
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
No subtext here. People are naked.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
