So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
