i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
