you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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