He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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