You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
