I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
