he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
My vagina just recognized that song.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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