Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
