didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
