She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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