did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
