FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
