So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
