He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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