If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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