I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
