Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
