Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
