They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
