I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize