your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
