Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
