He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
