How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
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He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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