T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
