I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
