Sponge bath it is.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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