That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
