It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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