I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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