brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Randomize
