you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
